Should we have a rehearsal?

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Rehearsals have become assumed necessities in the bridal world. In some cases they are…in others, IMHO, you could spend your money more wisely elsewhere. Whether you actually need one or not….well, consider these ideas:

A rehearsal can help reduce the jitters, especially if there is:

  • a sizable wedding party or family contingent
  • a tricky venue (stairs, wind, castle, etc.)
  • formal entrance/exit that is pivotal
  • the involvement of kids or dogs
  • a ritual that includes family members or friends
  • extra parents, and you need to everyone to find a role that works for them
  • a photographer that you have paid a LOT of money to and s/he wants it.

Or if your vision of the perfect day is that everything goes…well…perfectly.

 

You may not need a rehearsal if:

  • your vision of the perfect day is one that is more communal, more unplugged or natural
  • it’s a simple ceremony without those more complex elements
  • you have a small wedding party
  • you have a great sense of humour
  • the entrance and exit aren’t a big deal…you want them to be more organic
  • if someone messes up with iPod, it won’t be the end of the world.

Sometimes a quick rehearsal a few hours before the wedding might suffice. I can help you decide what’s right for you. I promise.

Jenn Ryan castle polaroid

What happens at a rehearsal?

Well, we don’t run through the words of the ceremony: those are saved for the wedding day. But we do a whole bunch of other things. Typically, we:

  • Get everyone introduced so we are all comfortable on the day
  • Make sure that everyone understands their roles
  • Run through the action parts where folks might feel a little unsure
  • Check the sound and volume to ensure that guests can hear
  • Practice the processional and recessional a few times.

The rehearsal always takes longer than the ceremony. By the end, people tend to be breathing (more) normally, especially folks who aren’t comfortable “winging it.” (you know who you are :))

Some venues include a rehearsal in their offering package, which is basically someone to walk you through the entrance/exit. (If that is the case, having me there will be a waste of your budget…spent it on prosecco instead!) Others, surprisingly, don’t.

Either way, I have a DIY Rehearsal sheet/checklist that I offer to my clients, so even if I am not there, you will have an anally-retentive set of directions about how a good rehearsal works, which you can pass along to your most anally-retentive attendant to manage.

And don’t worry, even if you don’t have a rehearsal, you can still have the rehearsal dinner…:)

 

** thanks to Karen McNeil Photography for the awesome images of Jenn and Ryan’s amazing day at Hatley.

How to get married in BC

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Content updated Nov 30, 2022.

 

Getting married in BC is simpler than in many other places in the world.

How do we get a Marriage Licence?

Getting a marriage license in BC is simple and easy. They are available at selected London Drugs customer service counters, Insurance offices, Service BC locations, or Notaries Public. To find one near you, click here.

Only one person needs to apply, but they must take identification for both. According to the BC government website:

The current fee for a Marriage Licence is $100.00 and must be paid at the time of application. To ensure accuracy of marriage certificates issued after registration and to verify legal age to apply for a marriage licence, primary identification in the form of a birth certificate, IMM/Immigration form, Permanent Resident or Citizenship card confirming 1) full legal names 2) birth date 3) place of birth should be provided for both parties. You will also be asked to provide information on your current marital status and address.

If the applicant does not have primary identification for the parties then the following documents may be utilized in a descending order of preference:

  • Driver’s Licence
  • Passport
  • Credit Card
  • Bank Card

Other documents may also be accepted.

The marriage licence is issued at the time of application. The marriage licence is non-refundable, valid for three months and may not be extended.

The official site has more in-depth information.

Chris Boar Photography

How long does it take to get a marriage licence in BC?

There’s no waiting period here like there is in some other parts of the world. You can get your licence the same day you are married (but you might want to be careful of that…not all licencing offices are open every day.

 

www.fb.com/jessehollandphotography

We are eloping. Do we need witnesses?

Every ceremony, to be legal, needs 2 witnesses. But even if you are eloping…you are never alone…everybody loves a wedding…:)

I can also (depending upon the location) provide a couple of enthusiastic seniors who will come and witness your ceremony (and give you a big hug, if you want).

 

Chelsea Dawn Photography

What if we are divorced? Do we need paperwork?

Some parts of the world want to see your divorce papers in order to provide a licence. Here in BC, you will be asked if you are recently divorced, and licences will not be granted to people who have been legally divorced for less than a month. If you are planning a date now, avoid stress by finding out how long the processing wait is…don’t make any assumptions.

 

Darshan Alexander Photography

How long do we need to wait to get the final certificate?

I’ll send you a PDF of the completed licence, so you have it in a pinch.

Vital Stats says expect to wait 3 weeks for the final certificate to arrive….which is pretty fast…:) A bit longer in the summer, and shorter in off/shoulder season. Please note: the process cannot be rushed/expedited if you have emigration issues.

The official site has more information.

 

Neville Black Photography

We want Uncle Harry to marry us. How can he legally do that?

Unlike in the USA, Uncle Harry can’t get a magic piece of paper that will transform him into either a JP or a Minister for a day. But here are a couple of options.

I’ve used my normal process of co-creating with couples, and then delivered the ceremony in front of their “officiant”. Most stand-ins appreciate this since delivering a ceremony is very different than public speaking, and it can be uber stressful for folks with no experience. Then I hand my script over and off you go.

If your heart (or your wallet) is really set on writing your own ceremony, then perhaps a Marriage Commissioner can look after the legal part of the ceremony while Uncle does the ceremonial aspect. (ask first if s/he is open to it…summer Saturdays tend to be uber-busy and s/he simply may not be able to help you. There are also restrictions to what s/he can/can’t do…best to ask a Marriage Commissioner to explain.)


Jon-Mark Photography

We want to get married without a ceremony.

Planning to skip directly to the party? (giggle) Well, what marries you IS the ceremony…It’s the only thing you need to get married (along with the licence), someone who wants to marry you, and 2 witnesses. The quickest and easiest route to a legal marriage ceremony might be a Marriage Commissioner, because they are plentiful and in every community. Just google that term and your town/city and the local list should pop up.

How far ahead should we be booking an officiant?

Well, there’s nothing more stressful after you’ve sent out the invitations than to find that you can’t find anyone to marry you…that everyone is booked already. Surprisingly, that happens a LOT. Even if the ceremony is not that important to you, it’s the ONLY thing you need to have (well, and a licence and someone who wants to marry you, too..:)

Prime times (Saturday afternoons between 2 and 5) are snapped up pretty quickly by early birds…popular officiants can easily be booked a year in advance. That said, if you are outside those times, you can breathe a little easier. (But still, to save yourself time, grief, and $$, get your ceremony arranged when you book your venue.)

Kim Kalyn Photography

 

Can a Celebrant legally marry you?

Yes, if s/he is also licensed wedding officiant/minister, approved by the province. You can ask to see our credentials, but I can offer you this: a website, testimonials, and reviews will all help you verify if someone is legit. But if you are unsure, ask. I once got a phone call from a bride, in tears b/c she booked “a wedding officiant” off Craigslist (no offense meant to this excellent site), who disappeared with her deposit. Fly-by-nighters don’t put up websites..:(

Just a note: Celebrants tend to charge more because of our specialized training and level of service. If someone says they are a celebrant, check to ensure that they have the credentials to justify the cost (like this).

 

Chris Boar Photography

How do I change my name?

Regardless of sex or gender, you can choose to take one partner’s last name after marriage. There’s no legal paperwork required.

However, you will need to provide a copy of your wedding documentation in order to change major identity items such as bank accounts, SIN and Driver’s Licence. Other service providers may simply require a phone call or allow a change to be made via their website.

If you and your spouse are planning hyphenated names, alas – such simplicity is not to be had. You will have to undertake a legal name change process.

 

Licence or License?

Americans use license as both a noun and a verb.

The rest of the world uses license (verb) and licence (noun). Kind of like practise (v) /practice (n).

This is, of course, for you grammar nuts….:)

 

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Catherine and Jim: a world away

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Cath Jim handfast Blog postJim e-mailed me from a war zone, where he was in the middle of a posting.  He had a leave coming up, had never been to North America.  His partner would fly in from another part of the world to meet him, and he hoped, after 13 years and 2 children together, to “make an honest woman out of her.”

If you have read how I work, you know that I like to co-create with my couples.  Though Jim was behind a fortress-like firewall, and Catherine’s computer had committed hara kiri, we still managed to pull together a ceremony that would honour his wicked sense of humour, her desire for something romantic with a prayer, and bring their daughters symbolically to be at the ceremony.

cath Jim bell blog postBecause it was off-season and a weekday, both the photographer and I were able to meet with them the day before to scout out locations and set up the plan.  Felt good, because given our restrictions, we hadn’t “met” in some way before…which is a rarity for me.

The ceremony itself was sweet and real, profound at times, at others a little irreverent.  Like the old feller (said with love) who interrupted the ceremony to offer congrats and show off his new scarf, the chorus of ducks nearby, and the cyclist who waited on the bridge for the kiss, ringing his bell with gusto.

Ah yes, everyone loves a wedding.  And even when you travel half-way around the world to elope, you still get guests…:)

 

** It was an absolute delight to work with Courtney from Courtney Clarke Photography!

“Barbara is the person you want to conduct your ceremony if you want something different, unique and fun. A straight talking woman with a great sense of humour who is very flexible whilst charging around Beacon Hill Park at dusk trying to find the right spot to hold the wedding. All this the night before. Highly recommend Barbara to anyone.”   Thanks, Jim…:)

 

 

 

 

Laura and Hugh: Pure Boundless Joy

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When Laura contacted me about 8 weeks before their wedding, she said that although she had been planning their wedding for almost a year, something felt missing. Everything else was done, but she didn’t feel like she was getting married. Her intended – Hugh – would support her, but his experience of ceremonies was more of the “rubber stamp” variety.

Our initial chat unearthed this: Hugh and Laura wanted their ceremony to reach out and gather everyone in its embrace. To share their love and joy with the people who mattered the most to them. To really feel like they were getting married. And of course…to enjoy it.

With all that in mind, we went to work. The couple put themselves into co-creating their ceremony with gusto. And it showed.

Laura.Hugh.mumPure boundless  joy. These images perfectly capture the essence of the ceremony, the couple, and the people who love them.

“Laura, there wasn’t a pivotal moment that told you ‘this is the one‘. You just slowly realized that you were already committed.You had already assessed Hugh from your “must-have” boyfriend qualities list, and he’d scored 100%. But somehow, it was clear from the beginning that this was totally different from any other relationship you had ever had…Hugh had a big heart, full of love, and yours recognized it.”

Given that Laura is a massage therapist, it was only natural that guests all actually had “a hand” in getting her married to Hugh. (pic below)

Laura Hugh handsPure boundless joy.

“And one day, many many years from now, perhaps you’ll be back here at St. Ann’s Academy, sitting together right in this very spot, holding hands just like now, contented, calm and secure together.   

And may younger couples look at you and think: “that’s who I want to be.”

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Laura and Hugh, so happy you chose me. Honoured. Grateful. And still smiling when I recall this magical moment in time.

You can see more of Ryan Macdonald’s uber-amazing photos (including many wonderful shots of the happy couple) on her blog post.