Wedding Officiants on Vancouver Island for 2023

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As I write this, we have just completed the busiest wedding year ever with a shortage of officiants on prime Saturday afternoons, and it looks, from the number of requests I have been receiving, that  2023 and 2024 will likely be the same.

Remember, the only thing you actually need (other than someone to marry you) is someone to marry you…:) The purpose of this post is to help you find someone (beyond me) to marry you.

This is NOT a recommended list….I’ve NEVER seen ANY of these folks in action!  But I do know that they can ALL legally marry you.

And please remember, my comments are strictly my own opinion. Use the links to do your own research.

 

Door #1: Marriage Commissioners

I won’t go into a lot of detail about Marriage Commissioners, since most people are already familiar with them. In my 12+ years of leading weddings, I’ve found that they are either exactly what you want, or exactly what you don’t want.

Here’s the link on the government website.

Also, Vital Statistics posts recent updates about covid and marriage commissioners here.

 

Door #2: Wedding Officiants

When you think of ministers, you may think of the centuries old traditions of the Catholic, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish or other religions. But there are actually over 700 registered spiritual and religious groups certified to offer wedding ceremonies in the province of BC.  Some do community outreach through Lay Chaplains or Youth Pastors. Some are retired folks.  The range is wide, and each group runs on its own. So you can get a broad range of ceremonies.  Here are some of the ones that I come across in my travels.

Spiritual/Religious Groups

These folks do ceremonies as an outreach/community service of their ministry or as one of a variety of services. If your budget is limited, they can be an alternative to a Marriage Commissioner.

The Unitarians.  Well trained, inclusive and broad-minded, each congregation has 2 Lay Chaplains who offer ceremonial services. In Victoria, there are 2:  Saanich  and  James Bay.   Amanda Tarling is perhaps the most well-known Lay Chaplain…you can reach her directly here.

You can also find Unitarian Lay chaplains in Nanaimo and the Comox Valley.

World Tree Ministry provides handfastings and wedding ceremonies in the Oceanside area.

Within the Metaphysical community, most officiants provide weddings as part of a full range of services. Check out Reverend Michael Ireland and Rev. Andria Winter in the South Island area.  In the Comox Valley, Rev. Sherry Ellis-Bell.

 

 

Wedding Ceremony Companies

Most officiants are better at delivering ceremonies than marketing themselves…:) So a few businesses have jumped in to market wedding ceremonies. Most use the terms “personalized” and “customized.”

Young Hip and Married    from  Vancouver has Chris-Ann Lake, Melinda Orlowski and Jordan Shaw in Victoria.

Vancouver Officiant, has a handful of officiants in Victoria, and one in Tofino/Ucluelet, and 2 who cover the lower Gulf Islands.

All Seasons from Ontario has 7 officiants in Victoria. I’ve found that Cecelia Penner (Victoria/Sooke/Metchosin) is quite responsive and very popular. The most affordable option of the 3 companies listed.

 

You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire.

Door #3: Celebrants

Celebrants are ordained officiants with a twist…specifically trained in the art of ceremony. If you want something different or really personal, you will be in good hands with a celebrant. If you have a really good story that wants to be told, if you are blending faiths or cultures, we can do it (we’re Metaphysical Ministers, which includes a broadly spiritual focus). If your family situation is….complicated….we can help smooth out the wrinkles.

Some of us come with extras i.e. our own PA system, a musical accompanist, pre-marital counselling, etc. as part of our service package.  Pricing here cuts a pretty wide swath, because of these things, and because we each market individually. In many cases, you will get a “personal/custom” ceremony for the same price or less as the “personalized/customized” provided by wedding ceremony marketing companies.  Most of us provide a premium kind of experience that you can’t get elsewhere.

While the mantra “your ceremony your way” is part of the credo, it can really help to work with someone who shares your vibe.

On the south island:

Barbara Parker is a seasoned and gifted storyteller who recently moved from Alberta, so she may have open space.

Linda Nelson is popular with young couples.

Morgan Brooks  offbeat. edgy. pagan, animism, LGBTQ. nature hikes.

Penny Allport. A deeper, more spiritual, profound experience.

Tracy  Stoessiger spiritual, paganism. animism. nature. hike in and stand in the rain.

If you want a marriage preparation package along with your ceremony, Sarah Nakatsuka  is a Victoria-based therapist/minister who provides that.

Central Island:

Jane Good  is a wonderful presence who is comfortable with real and organic. Travels everywhere.

Ceri Peacey has a pretty great sense of humour, works in the Oceanside area.

James Latour is a stylin’ guy with some of the coolest jackets you’ll ever see. Locals love him! Works the east side of Vancouver Island.

And in the Comox Valley, Jennifer Lee is a lovely storyteller and calming presence.

Katie Brennan is a newer celebrant with a background in the arts. (Moving to Saltspring Island in late 2023).

Looking for someone who travels to the West Coast? That would be Jane Good,  Jennifer Lee, or Katie Brennan.  Or Lianne Fitzpatrick, below. 

If you have chosen a popular date and are having trouble finding someone, perhaps check out these celebrants, who are either new in their practices or not as visible on social media/in search engines:
South Island: Elaine Stuart.  Shannon Linden.  Laura Clegg  is a former bride who is now on the celebrant path.  laura [at] lauraclegg.com or call 250 380 2098

Cowichan Valley:  Wendy Wawrysh    Gail Peekeekoot
Central Island/Oceanside:  Shannon Rosnau,  Karen Arends,  Colleen Kendall.  and Cheryl Pedley does elopements.
Central Island/West Coast: Lianne Fitzpatrick,  cell 250-203-1203, email: Fitz [at] Shaw.ca  (no website yet)
Courtenay/Campbell River: Carol Elliot,  Shafia Jamodien.  Lee Andra Jacobs covers the North Gulf Islands and from Nanaimo to Campbell River.

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You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire.

 

Door #4: Do it Yourself (sorta)

In some parts of the United States, you can get a friend or relative to marry you with a special one-day pass.  It doesn’t happen here in Canada.

But if you’ve booked everything other than the one thing you need to get married (hey it happens), and now you are stuck, consider this option.  Use one us legal folks to marry you ahead of time (when we are open), and then ask one of your people to deliver the ceremonial ceremony the day of.

Just a little heads-up that officiants have the chops to make it look easier than it is, the first ceremony you perform is utterly terrifying (so ask someone who is up to the challenge), and many of the ceremonies you can lift off the internet, frankly, are pretty beige…:) (which is perfectly ok if beige is your colour..:)

That said, I write ceremonies that can be delivered by someone with little/no experience and even let them shadow me at the legal ceremony before handing them my script. More on that here. I may be able to help you with that. Or ask your officiant of choice if s/he/they will do the same for you.

***

I hope you find your best fit!  And if you have any questions or feedback, just post below!

Best,

Barbara

Micro/Wee Wedding Ideas

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Copy updated Jan 6, 2023

The really great thing about the microweddings I’ve created with my couples is they can be pulled together easily in a fairly short time.  What matters most is that you are together with the people you love the most, celebrating the love you have for each other and the love among you. And the magical things that unfold when everyone is right there with you and for you in a moment that will not pass by again.

While you can have a mini-version of your big event complete with all the fixin’s, you can also do something that is adventurous (but safe) and budget-friendly (words that are refreshingly welcome during pandemics, inflationary times, and recessions…:)

Check out some of these stories for inspiration.

Make a Day of It

C&D came from Ontario and made their wedding a family fun day. Starting in the morning with a little hike in to our version of Niagara Falls (!) where as well as getting married, their sons got to officially “adopt” each other. It was relaxed and real and awesomely captured by Laura at Coastline Living Photography.  Then out for lunch and off for an afternoon of whale watching. All wearing “just married” shirts.  ALL of them.  They had a blast of a day.

The forest doesn’t cancel out on you…:)

After their wedding venue cancelled a few months before their wedding, M&F decided to do something totally different. They pared down the guest list and invited their closest people to  run away to the Island with them. At a sunset ceremony in Cathedral Grove, amid trees with much history, they added one more layer…everyone helped to marry them: moms, dads and grandmas in partnership.  After: a private dinner at Tigh-Na-Mara.

Cathedral Grove family wedding ceremony

So much love in that space. Image by Rick and Cheryl from Love You Me Pictures.

Go to Your Happy Place

J+V were supposed to have the big Indian wedding, but Co-vid stepped in, and so did a baby!  They could’t take 350 people to their happy place, J’s grandmother’s cabin on the water, but they sure could take the people who mattered the most for a little Island getaway.

beautifully captured by Meghan Hemstra Photography

 

Short Notice, with Kids

So much can happen in 60 days (as we’ve seen in the past few years). But it’s quite amazing what you can pull together on short notice, once you get clear on what matters most. P&P, after a long-term long-distance relationship, were ready to marry. And the chance when they and their kids would all be together was coming up shortly. So we gathered in the forest at Lazo Marsh and with a handful of the people they love, cemented their commitment to one another, their children and each other’s. Just as they are, it was open-hearted, genuine, caring and inclusive. An honour for everyone there to be part of. couple with children signing the marriage register image by McKinnon Photography

 

Annual Weekend Getaway (+18)

C&N’s West Coast getaway every September is their most special-est weekend. When we were brainstorming, we asked “Why not invite the folks (and dogs) they love the most along on their favourite weekend?  Share all their fav west coast rituals?  Make it a relaxed getaway for everyone? And have a nice casual wedding ceremony in the middle of it all?”  After the ceremony, an early dinner at Wolf in the Fog.  Finally, bonfire on the beach as the sun went down.  With s’mores and plaid shirts..:)

Tofino Wee Wedding with brides, guests and dogs on the beach

Image(and more images) by Kaitlin Shea Photography.

 

Surprise! Surprise!

I LOVE surprise weddings!  They are so much fun to plan, and you don’t have to worry about seating arrangements, charger plates, invitations, and all the stuff that can cost a bundle. And the bonus is that everyone will remember your day, that being hoodwinked was actually pretty cool. Very cool, in fact.

Upon discovering that they are not here to attend the groom’s 30th birthday event…:) 

couple learning that they are actually attending a suprise wedding

The Nickersons

Head to the Vow Cabin

Kyle Joinson Photography

The Vow Cabin is the choice of adventurous couples who want to get married in a relaxed and comfortable way…in nature. Packages include extra options, but the venue, on the south coast, won’t disappoint. Nor will all the other goodies included. If you don’t have time to plan, check out the options here.

Adventure Wedding

Sombrio beach waterfall elopement Vienna + Caleb at the top of the falls

V+C wanted to get married at a waterfall. So they travelled all over the Island, searching for the perfect place…an adventure in itself. They found it at Sombrio Beach near Port Renfrew. We created their ceremony to be an adventure too…starting at the base and marrying them in steps as we climbed (or scrambled) toward the top. And it turned out to be one of the most remarkable experiences ever for all of us (pretty sure I can say that for everyone.)  Afterward: a picnic celebration on the beach.

Sombrio Beach waterfall elopement with family and friends partway up

Wonderful images by the ever nimble Chelsea Dawn Photography.

 

“Barbara supported us in creating the ceremony we weren’t able to find anywhere else. We spent a couple of years looking for what we wanted until we found Barbara. Her amazing open-mindedness, acceptance, and support really helped us along this whole process of figuring out what we truly wanted for each other and those included. She got our small group of people involved and made sure everyone felt important and that they weren’t just watching our marriage happen, they were truly a part of it.”  —- Viennamay and Caleb

Modern Metaphysical Minister, Celebrant and Wedding Officiant, Vancouver Island. Including Victoria, Duncan, Nanaimo, Parksville, Courtenay, Comox Valley, and Campbell River.

 

Elope in the Forest with the Vow Cabin

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Updated January 2023

Kyle Joinson Photography

Psssttt!  Yes you!  Are you nature folks?  Does sun sparkling through a forest canopy feel more like you than overhead lights in a hotel ballroom?  Want something small that feels natural and real?  Want to really enjoy getting married without the fuss and hassle of planning all the details?  Want to invite your family along but keep them out of the organizing?  (ha ha)

The Vow Cabin has become the favourite package of couples who want a wedding experience that is relaxed, natural, sustainable, personal…and a little adventurous.

This marks Year 4 for this wonderful package and it just keeps getting better every year. Trust me on that.

The team includes the best of the best on Vancouver Island.   Caitlin, our exceptional organizer has come up with a few different packages:

  • You can come by yourselves, or bring up to 8 witnesses.
  • Or you can bring up to 20 people and have a wee celebration in the forest.

Because the space is so large and so private, it feels like your own private getaway.  In actual fact, you share the day with up to 2 other couples, but it simply doesn’t feel that way.  And that makes the package waaaayyy more affordable. 

So, if you don’t have time to plan, but you still want to get married in a meaningful friendly way, maybe check out The Vow Cabin.  Some 2023 dates are full…but there are still good open dates on their website.

Modern Metaphysical Minister/Celebrant and Wedding Officiant, Vancouver Island. Including Victoria, Duncan, Nanaimo, Parksville, Courtenay, Comox Valley and Campbell River.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time Capsule Ritual, 2020 Version

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This ritual came out of my 10th Anniversary Celebration. Thanks to my client collaborator Breanne Faurot.

Step 1: Get Ready

Figuring out what the time capsule can be a big part of the ritual/activity.  Time capsules are normally sealed, so consider how everyone can help seal it up.

Like:

  • build/paint a wooden box and nail it shut. Or pick one up at the craft or dollar store.
  • repurpose something in the house, or head out to a local thrift store.
  • Create/make an envelope and seal it.
  • Use a box with a clasp and get a lock for each of you.
  • Use a cardboard box, ribbon or string, tie knots and then seal them off with candle wax
  • Create something that fits with your values. I saw one made from plastic pop bottles. Sealed shut with a glue gun.
  • Dream big!
  • If it’s something with a single lock (like an old suitcase), then decide where the lock will go/who will be the keeper.
  • In a pinch, you can buy pre-made time capsules on Amazon. Or elsewhere.

 

Step 2:  Find/Create what goes in

This next step has waaaaayyyy too many ideas.  Just use the ones that work for you.

Most have links to printable pages.

A.  Together Activities

These could be family projects, conversations, or even games. You can do them together, or zoom in others.  Just make sure that you’ve got a scribe!

B.  Kids Activities

In 5 or 10 years…or however long you decide before you open it…chances are, your kids will have changed the most.

Help them mark who they are at this moment.

  • Add something that you don’t need or want anymore but will enjoy seeing when this is opened.  Remember, it needs to be small enough to fit in!  So no hockey sticks!
  • What did you look like when you went outside? Draw a picture of it!
  • All About Me: your life and loves in 2020.
  • My Pandemic Year. Questions specifically geared toward kids.

One-on-One Activities (by yourself or interviewing others)

You can do these on your own as reflective exercises.  Or interview each other and ask questions.  Or in some cases, invite that someone special who can’t be with you to contribute, either by writing or answering these questions.

You may want to share before putting in. Or keep it until it’s opened…you will know.

Step 3:  Assemble and Seal it

Maybe you’ve already built the time capsule  by now.  Or perhaps part of this final step is  both creating and filling it.

For me, this last step is more of a celebration, so I’ll focus on that.

What you need:

  • the time capsule (or parts if you are going to assemble it here)
  • A way to seal it (see top section)
  • all the stuff you’ve collected, separately and together.
  • Something with bubbles to celebrate with, like sparkling beverages.
  • And if you have a special dish/treat you like, sure, add it.

**Here’s how I would begin (if I was leading this)…

So we are making history today!

And we are sealing away history too.

Some of the things we will add, we will have forgotten about in ____ years’ time.

Others will have changed.

And we will have all changed for sure!

**So however you want to add things….as much sharing as you wish.

**And if you want, at the end, you can ask some closing questions, like:

What did you like most about getting ready for today?

What did you like to do the best?

What did you learn?

**At the end….when everything is in….

Now, we’re going to put all this away for  (how long).

So that means on _______(date) we will all gather back here together.

We may not be the same, be we will do our best to be here.

And we will open this up and…..

**Start with a parent….

“will you put your hand on the time capsule?

Now, do you promise that you will do everything in your power to be here to open this time capsule  on ____________(date)?”

Answer: I will

**Then, tie it, lock it, whatever.

**Do it for each person.

There, now we are done!

Let’s celebrate!

** however you like to celebrate…fizzy, bubbles, pizza, cheezies, whatever…:)

 

Would you prefer a complete list of activities in a printable PDF?  Here it is.  Time Capsule Worksheets.ALL

I’d love to see what you come up with!  Pictures, comments, feedback, anything!