Celebrating Pete the Pirate

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The date to celebrate her husband Pete was coming up and Karen was flummoxed. She wasn’t sure whether her ideas would fly. But more than that was the leadership.

You see, the person she’d asked to lead the ceremony was someone with the most public speaking skills…her yoga instructor. Made perfect sense at the time. Now, she wasn’t so sure it was a good idea…the yogini’s plan was “dancing in the forest with wood chips in your hair” kind of stuff. NO WAY that was Pete. To Pete, a pigeon pose was…sorry…a bird with a puckered anus..:)

Pete was a partier, a bit of a pirate. Not a poem or prayer kinda guy. At all.

That’s how Karen landed up on the other side of the continent, on my website.  We had a video chat about how to turn Pete’s memorial into the kind of event he would have loved to crash.  Together, we pulled  together a script that was pure Pete. Complete with stories, M&M’s, the involvement of his grandkids, and a final shot of Johnny Walker Red Label for everyone…which is exactly what Pete would have wanted…especially since it had not been available in IV drip format his final years. We honoured his wicked sense of humour and gave him the final send-off he would’ve wanted.

Her yoga buddy could never have written what we created, but she could easily stand and deliver it. And so it ended up being a win-win all around.

I’ll toast to that.

Which I did, at the same time his celebration was being delivered.  Although with a 4-hour time difference, it was a tad early in the day for a jigger of Johnny Walker..:)

 

Mature Weddings

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img_0127I know, I’m not crazy about the term “mature” either. But the  alternatives on thesaurus.com aren’t much better: ripened, seasoned, prime time…:(  Egad.

Whatever the term, you’ve had enough time to get to know yourself well. And you know that this time, it’s more about sharing the love than it is about table centrepieces..:)

It’s more about how dang lucky you are to have found someone to walk with you through the rest of life.  Someone who loves you for you. Someone who accepts and supports you. Who is as grateful to have found you as you are.

Marrying this person is a complete honour, and this moment is one you want to experience fully. You want to be present, to show up 100% (or more). And you want to etch it in your memory, so you can close your eyes and savour it again.gailglenn

 

And it’s also…just as pivotally… about bringing together the people you love the most and spreading the joy around…sharing the love…seeing them all connected together and realizing that they will be a community for a long time to come.

There may have been loss in your past, and there may still be some tender spots in your family. That’s ok…normal even…and we can treat those with care.

The joy of this whole process is that we’ll create together. And ripened people (egad) seem to enjoy co-creating stories, and rituals.  And ok, maybe the odd table centrepiece..:)  (I say that because the groom made a bunch of ropes for the ritual in the top pic, and I teased him about how much fun he was having.  I still wonder if he got a Pinterest board..:)

“Barbara is like all my favorite teachers, she asks the best questions to help us co-create a ceremony that had and still has great meaning to us. Even though we supplied the bulk of the content, Barbara put it all together in a holistic (whole-istic) way for our family and friends. Our guests were made to be part of a celebration. If you are willing to do the work to create a meaningful heart and soul moving event, then Barbara is the person for you. I’m sure she can also create an outstanding event for those that just want the nice words made for them, but I think it would be just a little bit sad to let such an important day be spoken from outside your circle of love. If you let Barbara teach you to speak from your heart and soul, the words of love you have for each other, then your love story will be the most honored guest at your celebration.”   Gail and Glenn

 

Unique, Meaningful and Full of Love…that is how we would describe our wonderful wedding ceremony on August 20, 2016.
 Barbara is extremely gifted and created a ceremony that was perfect for us. Our wedding day was incredible and we heard time and again from our 50 guests that it was truly one of the most beautiful ceremoniepanton_wedding-20_2s they had every attended. We thought so too and are both incredibly happy Barbara was the one to marry us. Thank you Barbara from the bottom of our hearts for being a very important part of our wedding.    Doug and Donna xo


 

“One of our guests said this to us: “As soon as I saw the celebrant and heard her speak, I knew this wedding was going to be a classy event.”

Not only was our wedding classy, Barbara worked with us to establish what was important to us for the celebration of our marriage and translated that into a very personal and impressively original ceremony.

In her comments to our guests prior to the event, she set the tone perfectly; not just for our ceremony but for the rest of the evening’s celebrations as well. Because of her compelling presence, her amazing communication skills and her incredible story telling ability, Barbara created a wonderful sense of inclusion for all of our guests.

Barbara Densmore is extraordinary in every way. She made our wedding a phenomenal event.” N&H

Weddings with Kids

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Often when couples Kim-and-Dan-paintingwith kids contact me, they have already decided how to include their kids in the ceremony, and it often sounds like “Johnny will be the ring bearer and Mary will be the flower girl.” 

But even with a role in the wedding party, it’s easy for kids to feel outside of what’s happening…all the planning and activity. And if they are younger, to feel a little left out.

But the truth of the matter is that there are 2 unions happening here: their parents and their families, including them. Maybe even more.

Let’s just focus on the kids for now…confirming the new family and your commitment to them.

Your kids may want a more active role, helping me to marry you.  It gives them a sense of purpose and belonging.  At Marnie’s wedding, her daughters helped me create and deliver an enchanting ritual using champagne (their mother)  and orange juice (their soon-to-be dad.)  [“Rob is like orange juice because he likes to be squeezed, especially by mom.”]robmarniewed-212

Rob gifted them with these rings, and the promise that he would always be there for them.

Or there may be a family ritual you would like to do together.  As new as the painting ritual here, or as familiar as the high 5’s above.  Or a variation of the standard sand ceremony that fits who you are.

Perhaps you want to offer some vows to let them know that while there may be change in the future, some things will remain unchanged, including your love for them ( Sounds cheesy, but it’s true, isn’t it?)

We vow to hold you close to our hearts

To be there when you need us (not just for money)

to give you the understanding and space you need

to become the type of people you wish to be,

whether it be an engineer,

marine biologist

or a tattoo artist.

 

Because a great family wedding sets the tone for your future, and gives your kids both a message and a memory that they will never forget.

My fiancee and I decided very last minute to plan a wedding around a trip where all of our children would be present. With only 6 weeks to select a venue and plan a wedding ceremony for a couple that lived in different countries, we knew that we were going to need to someone with an extraordinary skill-set and talent.

In a very serendipitous way Barbara came into our life and from our first conversation with her (via Skype), it became quite clear that we had found the right person! It’s not easy to have a long distance relationship and planning a wedding from two different countries only compounds that fact. Barbara quickly jumped on board, always positive and always accentuating the positive, she embraced our need for guidance through the process of creating something magical. She succeeded on all counts. Thank you Barbara for helping to create a fairytale wedding for a fairytale romance.  P&P

More sublime photos of C&J and the boys taken by Chelsea Dawn Photography.  Middle shot of the family painting thanks to Tracey Christine Photography. The rings at M&R’s family wedding taken by Nancy at Joyful Images.

B&D: Surprise Us!

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Say you’ve been together for more than a decade; you’ve been meaning to get married, but then the kids came along..and life got busy..and…and…well, you know. Now you’ve decided to catch your breath and make everything legal. Run away  to Vancouver Island and tie the knot.

Howver, B&D aren’t exactly “chocolates on your pillow/elopement package” folk.  They weren’t sure how they wanted to get married, but they wanted it to be as much of an adventure as their life together has been.  They said “wilderness and a waterfall.” The rest they left to us.  

When a couple gifts their pros like that, you can bet that we take extraordinary effort. Especially that Chelsea Dawn…who was as ruthless  as a bloodhound in her search for the perfect spot (and Chelsea, as a dog person, I hope you know this is offered as the ultimate compliment..:)

Right up to the end, the couple had no idea where they were going. No blindfolds or anything like that, just a “follow me” and some texting got us all into place at the right time.

And oh, the ceremony. We made it a surprise, too. Although I asked them some questions in advance, so they got to hear some pretty awesome stuff about one another. I sent them off at the start to gather nature’s elements; they used them to marry one another.

And once married, they just kept on communing with nature.  Because what is life, if not an adventure?

Chelsea Dawn Photography, your sense of fun and magical talent captured B&D’s awesome adventure elopement so superbly. Thanks for sharing these images.