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J+P’s Vow Renewal, Sort of…:)

November 26, 2020 By Barbara

When musicians Jenn and Paul met on Hornby Island 31 years ago, there was an immediate attraction and a lot of stray voltage…:)  What remained was a sense of “unfinished business” between them, and a sense of tentative inevitability that they would see each other again at some point.

A decade ago, they reconnected. And 5 years later, were married at St Andrews Cottages in Qualicum Beach.

“Our life is like an orchestra, and we are finding the beat”.

Since then, life has been full. Illness and misdiagnoses, the long road to recovery. All while running a business. Pivoting. Packing up and moving to the Island.

Suddenly, they were in a new place, an ideal life.

They talked about how to acknowledge this new start, this new place.  Decided they would love to go back to their wedding day and experience it again “without distractions and the whir of madness involved in weddings.” 

 

So we found a sunny day at the start of November and had an adventure.  “What should we wear?” they asked. “What you got married in. Plus sweaters and jackets!”

In the backyard of their new home, we revisited and updated their story (pets included). Then we packed up and took a wee (and very mindful) hike down to their original wedding spot, capturing what makes this new place part of an ideal life…past the pond with the ducks, sun filtering through the ferns, the echo of drumming woodpeckers.

 

At the bottom, past the loyalists intent on saving the last remaining building at St Andrews Cottages. Poignant timing for us.

 

Down to the beach.  Putting Hornby in their background (because it is…:) Appreciating what they love most about each other.

Hearing it again, from their original wedding. But updated for the time since.

We realized their original vows simply weren’t big enough, and so we updated them to fit. Took them over an oathing stone.

Beside us, a heron posed. A sea lion rolled.  Gulls circled.

An ideal life.

And like an orchestra, and they are finding the beat.

 

Every moment and step captured beautifully by the talented Chelsea Dawn Weddings. For more images (and probably more nicely done than mine, check our HER blog post.

We’re putting together some packages that will help you say “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”  Check them out here.  (Link coming)

 

 

 

Filed Under: Weddings

Wedding Officiants on Vancouver Island for 2022

November 19, 2020 By Barbara

As I write this, we are going through another exemplary year!  Remember, the only thing you actually need (other than someone to marry you) is someone to marry you…:) I’m guessing from the requests I am getting that there is going to be a shortage of officiants on prime Saturday afternoons, and especially if you are pulling something together on short notice. The purpose of this post is to help you find someone (beyond me..ha ha) to marry you.

This is NOT a recommended list….I’ve NEVER seen ANY of these folks in action!  But I do know that they can ALL legally marry you.

Door #1: Marriage Commissioners

I won’t go into a lot of detail about Marriage Commissioners, since most people are already familiar with them. In my 10+ years of leading weddings, I’ve found that they are either exactly what you want, or exactly what you don’t want.

Here’s the link on the government website.

Also, Vital Statistics posts recent updates about covid and marriage commissioners here.

 

Door #2: Wedding Officiants

When you think of ministers, you may think of the centuries old traditions of the Catholic, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish or other religions. But there are actually over 700 registered spiritual and religious groups certified to offer wedding ceremonies in the province of BC.  Some do community outreach through Lay Chaplains or Youth Pastors. Some are retired folks.  The range is wide, and each group runs on its own. So you can get a broad range of ceremonies.  Here are some of the ones that I come across in my travels.

Wedding Ceremony Companies

Most officiants are better at delivering ceremonies than marketing themselves…:) So a few businesses have jumped in to market wedding ceremonies.  These are the established ones
Young Hip and Married    from  Vancouver has officiants in Victoria (Chris-Ann Lake) and Nanaimo (Brian Pankratz.)
All Seasons from Ontario has officiants all over the Island. You can request a specific one.  I’ve found that Cecelia Penner is quite responsive.

You’ll work with the company, and can pick the officiant you want. Both will do a simple legal ceremony, and something a little more personalized.

There’s also Vancouver Officiant, who is pretty new, and similar to the above. They don’t list locations, but do say they have people on the Island.

The Unitarians

Inclusive and broad-minded, each congregation has 2 Lay Chaplains who offer ceremonial services. In Victoria, there are 2:  Saanich  and  James Bay.   Amanda Tarling is a Victoria Unitarian Lay Chaplain with her own website.  You can also find Unitarian Lay chaplains in Nanaimo and the Comox Valley.

Spiritual Communities

Within the Metaphysical community, you can check out Reverend Michael Ireland and Andria Winter in the south Island area.  And Adrienna Lankoff in Courtenay will only be around until early May.
And the Centre for Spiritual Living has Jill Brocklehurst in Campbell River.  Oops, not anymore…:(

You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire.

(which does not allow links to its site.)

Door #3: Celebrants

Celebrants are ordained officiants with a twist…specifically trained in the art of ceremony. If you want something different or really personal, you will be in good hands with a celebrant. If you are blending faiths or cultures, we can do it (we’re Metaphysical Ministers, which includes a broadly spiritual focus). If your family situation is….complicated….we can help smooth out the wrinkles.

Some of us come with extras i.e. our own PA system, a musical accompanist, pre-martial counselling, etc. as part of our service package. There are enough celebrants on the Island now that you can likely find someone who is a good fit for you.

On the south island:

Linda Nelson is popular with young couples.  Morgan Brooks for something a little more edgy.

If you have  more of a spiritual focus, check out Penny Allport.  If your spiritual focus moves more toward paganism, or animism, then check out Tracy  Stoessiger or Morgan Brooks 

Looking for someone on the South Coast who will do a hike and stand in the rain with you?  That would be
Tracy  Stoessiger or  Morgan Brooks 

If you want a marriage preparation package along with your ceremony, Sarah Nakatsuka  is a Victoria-based therapist/minister who provides that.

Tracy works weekends only and as of March 24 is fully booked until fall.

 

In the Oceanside area, Jane Good and Ceri Peacey are seasoned celebrants (with pretty wicked senses of humour).  James Latour has some of the coolest jackets you’ll ever see.

And in the Comox Valley, check out Jennifer Lee.

 

Although all Celebrants are LGBTQ friendly, you may prefer to work with  Morgan Brooks in Victoria (especially if you are non-traditional) .  Or James Latour in Nanaimo. (They do ceremonies for everyone, too..:)  And James travels up and down the east coast of the Island, too.

Looking for someone who travels to the West Coast (other than me?) That would be Jane Good,  Jennifer Lee.  Or Lianne Fitzpatrick, below. 

 

If you have chosen a popular date and are having trouble finding someone, perhaps check out these celebrants, who are either new in their practices or not as visible on social media:
South Island: Elaine Stuart. 
Cowichan Valley:  Wendy Wawrysh    Gail Peekeekoot
Central Island/Oceanside:  Shannon Rosnau,  Karen Arends   Cheryl Pedley
Central Island/West Coast: Lianne Fitzpatrick,  cell 250-203-1203, email: Fitz [at] Shaw.ca
Courtenay/Campbell River:   Katie Brennan   Colleen Kendall

You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire

(which does not allow links to its site.)

 

Door #4: Do it Yourself (sorta)

In some parts of the United States, you can get a friend or relative to marry you with a special one-day pass.  It doesn’t happen here in Canada.

But if you’ve booked everything other than the one thing you need to get married (hey it happens), and now you are stuck, consider this option.  Use one us legal folks to marry you ahead of time (when we are open), and then ask one of your people to deliver the ceremonial ceremony the day of.

Just a little heads-up that officiants have the chops to make it look easier than it is, the first ceremony you perform is utterly terrifying (so ask someone who is up to the challenge), and many of the ceremonies you can lift off the internet, frankly, are pretty beige…:) (which is perfectly ok if beige is your colour..:)

That said, I write ceremonies that can be delivered by someone with little/no experience and even let them shadow me at the legal ceremony before handing them my script. More on that here. I may be able to help you with that. Or ask your officiant of choice if s/he/they will do the same for you.

***

I hope you find your best fit!  And if you have any questions or feedback, just post below!

Best,

Barbara

 

Filed Under: Weddings

Ways to Elope on Vancouver Island

April 29, 2020 By Barbara

There are lots of elopement packages out there, but what I do is very different…I help you celebrate your partnership fully, whole-heartedly and actively. (Although chocolates on the pillow are a nice touch too…:) 

Out in Nature

There’s something very profound about getting married on an endless beach, the peak of a mountain, amid giant trees who have seen countless cycles of life unfold in their presence. It reminds us how big and beautiful this universe is. This life is. How fortunate we are to be in it.

Since the beginning of time, many of the elements of nature have been used in ceremony in countless ways. that make perfect sense.  (We’re not talking about dancing around in the forest draped in vines, but if you’re really into that, I’ll give it my best shot…:)

in Cathrdral Grover, a bruide appreciated the tall trees and a groom appreciates the bride

 Chelsea Dawn Photography

 

Have an Adventure

Has your life so far been an adventure?  Is running away and doing something completely different your cup of tea?  A helicopter elopement?  Scaling a waterfall?  Feeding your bouquet to a bevvy of  adoring baby goats?  Getting married in a lavender field?  Or on a bunjee jump? (I’ll stay on land for that one and use my PA..:)

Or maybe you’re open to adventure. Below, after 11 years and 2 kids together, B&D said “surprise us!”  So we did…both ceremony and setting!

Lupin Falls_in Strathcona Park_a couple elopes at their wedding ceremony_image by Chelsea Dawn

 Chelsea Dawn Photography.

 

Do what you are

Is there something that personifies your partnership? Something that feels right and true to you?  It will likely come out while we are brainstorming your ceremony. Trust me…:)

www.fb.com/jessehollandphotography

N&K like to walk in nature, so we did a walking ceremony.  Since a wedding ceremony has 3 steps,  we did each step in a different location.  “It was truly magical. It was everything we imagined it could be…. exactly what we set out to achieve in the beginning.”

 

Modernize your Traditions

There many be centuries old traditions in your family that want to be honoured but don’t seem to fit a modern elopement on the West Coast. We can make them fit you perfectly.

We blended Northern and Southern Hindo traditions in a modern west coast way.  Unforgettable images by Tulle and Tweed Photography.

 

The Perfect Day

What did you do on your first date?  Your first anniversary?  Are there any rituals that are yours and yours alone?  What’s something you’ve always wanted to do together? What might your most perfect day include? Could include a ceremony in it?

Part of the Air Force in Europe, Ivo asked if their witnesses be Air Force folks? Voila, ex-CFB Commander couple (showed up in uniform and even took pics) started a new friendship over a wonderful afternoon.

 

Have  a Handfasting

The original elopement, centuries ago, was often a handfasting ceremony. If you are eloping now and having a large party next year, check out this post.

Elyse Anna Photography

Run Away to the Vow Cabin

This marvellous little elopement package combines all kinds of wonder in a natural relaxed setting. Both magical AND affordable.   2023 dates are now posted!

Contact me about your Elopement Ceremony

 

 

Are you a same-sex, trans or gender non-conforming couple?  Check out LGBTQ weddings.

How to Get Married in BC

More FAQ

Modern Metaphysical Minister/Celebrant and Wedding Officiant, Vancouver Island. Including Victoria, Duncan, Nanaimo, Parksville, Courtenay, Comox Valley and Campbell River.

 

 

Filed Under: Co-Vid 19, Weddings Tagged With: adventure elopement, elope, Vancouver Island

A Four-Legged Farewell

December 31, 2017 By Barbara

Best friends come in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes they have big ears, whiskers.  And a four-legged loss can be just as devastating as a two-legged companion.

Such was the case with Biff, a dog who was memorable in many ways.  When he passed, after a long and colourful life, he was cremated.  And kept.  It was difficult to let go of him, partly because his owner didn’t know how.  A spiritual person, she wanted some kind of memorial service for him, one that honoured him. When she discovered she could have exactly what she wanted, she was ready to scatter his ashes.

A few parts from the ceremony we created together:

Love of life.   Love of every part of the day.  The morning snuggle.  Home-made food.  Getting out in nature and thanking God for another day.  Riding in the convertible in the summer.  Burnt orange sunsets in the autumn.  A good towel-off when it’s wet outside.  Meeting and greeting new and old friends. The rustle of the cheese wrapper.  Dessert after main course.  A brush and massage before bed.   And lots of hugs in between.

All simple things.  But not in the least simple.  I believe fully and sincerely that the best things in life aren’t things.  They are people and moments.   I include you in the “people” category because I know you were (and are) are a very old soul…one of the oldest wisest souls I have ever met.  I thank God for matching us up, and giving me the chance to become a much better person.  I will always be grateful for our time together.

And “Lessons Learned from Biff”:

  • You’ve shown that the people we love don’t need fixing…they are just fine the way they are.
  • And if someone tries to fix us, it’s ok to love them anyway.  But if they push too hard in the areas that are the most critical, it’s o.k. to give them a little nip…just as long as you let them know that they are still loved.
  • You’ve shown that what we do with those we love is not as important as the just being together.
  • That when you welcome people well, they want to come over more often.
  • And that when people don’t have to worry about being judged, they are safer and happier.
  • That when we look back, the simple moments are the ones we treasure the most.
  • You’ve demonstrated that real friends are always faithful and consistent; they love you the same way to your face and your back.
  • That if you get bitten once, it shouldn’t dominate the rest of your life.
  • And that pedigrees and job titles are just bits of paper people need to feel more important, but what they are inside is even more important.
  • That mutts and unanticipated guests may add some unpredictability to life, and that’s a very good thing.
  • And finally, that there is no greater gift than being genuinely appreciated by someone else.

Filed Under: Memorials Tagged With: ash scattering, ceremony, dog, dog memorial, funeral, memorial, pet, pet memorial, ritual, rituals

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