Victoria BC

Margaret and Jamie: Introverts Unite!

July 7, 2016 By Barbara

More quiet/introverted by nature, both Jamie and Margaret are drawn out with humour and a relaxed atmosphere. They wanted to get married right next to the ocean with only immediate family present, and when we met, had some specific requests. They wanted:

to walk to the ceremony site with their families rather than having a specific entrance for the bride/groom.
to have their families gather around them rather than having the feeling of being on display.
to feel comfortable and to enjoy getting married.

All quite do-able. And the joy of creating your ceremony along with me, if you are an introvert, is that you get to both dig deep into the process and spread it out, too, so when we get to the ceremony, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and go into “tilt” mode. You can be more present. And you can feel more like the “do-er” than the “done to.”

And how they dug right into the process! One of Jamie’s stories was of surprising Margaret as she got off a flight with a crantini he had created in the men’s washroom at the airport. Too good to pass by, it went into the ceremony. Then we decided to have some fun carrying it further. So, at the ceremony’s end, staff at the Sooke Harbour House appeared with crantinis hidden in Tim Horton’s cups, just as in the story. Whoops of delight from everyone turned into extensive toasts…:)

The rest of the ceremony…well, yes, the couple were totally surrounded by their families in many different ways in this interactive ceremony. (The joy of a small group is that the dynamics are totally different… I can explain how if we talk.)

Photographer Gwen Thurston from Funkytown Photography captured the relaxed, casual, and heartfelt sense of the day so exquisitely. Much of her work was catching the moments that mattered most. Lovely lovely job. You can see more images here.

M&J left me a wonderful review on Wedding Wire:

We knew Barbara was the one! From the get-go, we could see her genuine passion for her work as a Celebrant- she loves people and really understands others- and brings a wealth of career experience. Barbara met with us in person to discuss our wishes for our ceremony (and perhaps most importantly, what we didn’t want). Throughout the whole process, Barbara was always incredibly insightful, flexible, supportive, and fun. She gave is an extensive ceremony questionnaire to complete and used this to guide the development of the ceremony. Barbara wrote an incredibly personal ceremony that captured who we are, what we wanted to say, and how we wanted to say it. She was totally open to our feedback, changed what we wanted, and offered excellent suggestions when we felt stumped. Barbara wove a funny story about us into the ceremony and suggested that we incorporate a special toast at the end- it was a special surprise for our guests & brought much laughter! She always remained sensitive to those who would be in attendance and made sure our guests felt welcomed and included. Most importantly she helped us make our wedding ceremony meaningful to us, staying true to ourselves and our values, while marking a very important transition in our lives. We feel so fortunate that we found Barbara. It is an unforgettable day. We cannot recommend her enough! Book her already! 🙂

Should we have a rehearsal?

January 14, 2014 By Barbara

Rehearsals have become assumed necessities in the bridal world. In some cases they are…in others, IMHO, you could spend your money more wisely elsewhere. Whether you actually need one or not….well, consider these ideas:

A rehearsal can help reduce the jitters, especially if there is:

a sizable wedding party or family contingent
a tricky venue (stairs, wind, castle, etc.)
formal entrance/exit that is pivotal
the involvement of kids or dogs
a ritual that includes family members or friends
extra parents, and you need to everyone to find a role that works for them
a photographer that you have paid a LOT of money to and s/he wants it.

Or if your vision of the perfect day is that everything goes…well…perfectly.

You may not need a rehearsal if:

your vision of the perfect day is one that is more communal, more unplugged or natural
it’s a simple ceremony without those more complex elements
you have a small wedding party
you have a great sense of humour
the entrance and exit aren’t a big deal…you want them to be more organic
if someone messes up with iPod, it won’t be the end of the world.

Sometimes a quick rehearsal a few hours before the wedding might suffice. I can help you decide what’s right for you. I promise.

What happens at a rehearsal?

Well, we don’t run through the words of the ceremony: those are saved for the wedding day. But we do a whole bunch of other things. Typically, we:

Get everyone introduced so we are all comfortable on the day
Make sure that everyone understands their roles
Run through the action parts where folks might feel a little unsure
Check the sound and volume to ensure that guests can hear
Practice the processional and recessional a few times.

The rehearsal always takes longer than the ceremony. By the end, people tend to be breathing (more) normally, especially folks who aren’t comfortable “winging it.” (you know who you are :))

Some venues include a rehearsal in their offering package, which is basically someone to walk you through the entrance/exit. (If that is the case, having me there will be a waste of your budget…spent it on prosecco instead!) Others, surprisingly, don’t.

Either way, I have a DIY Rehearsal sheet/checklist that I offer to my clients, so even if I am not there, you will have an anally-retentive set of directions about how a good rehearsal works, which you can pass along to your most anally-retentive attendant to manage.

And don’t worry, even if you don’t have a rehearsal, you can still have the rehearsal dinner…:)

** thanks to Karen McNeil Photography for the awesome images of Jenn and Ryan’s amazing day at Hatley.

Catherine and Jim: a world away

June 13, 2013 By Barbara

Jim e-mailed me from a war zone, where he was in the middle of a posting. He had a leave coming up, had never been to North America. His partner would fly in from another part of the world to meet him, and he hoped, after 13 years and 2 children together, to “make an honest woman out of her.”

If you have read how I work, you know that I like to co-create with my couples. Though Jim was behind a fortress-like firewall, and Catherine’s computer had committed hara kiri, we still managed to pull together a ceremony that would honour his wicked sense of humour, her desire for something romantic with a prayer, and bring their daughters symbolically to be at the ceremony.

Because it was off-season and a weekday, both the photographer and I were able to meet with them the day before to scout out locations and set up the plan. Felt good, because given our restrictions, we hadn’t “met” in some way before…which is a rarity for me.

The ceremony itself was sweet and real, profound at times, at others a little irreverent. Like the old feller (said with love) who interrupted the ceremony to offer congrats and show off his new scarf, the chorus of ducks nearby, and the cyclist who waited on the bridge for the kiss, ringing his bell with gusto.

Ah yes, everyone loves a wedding. And even when you travel half-way around the world to elope, you still get guests…:)

** It was an absolute delight to work with Courtney from Courtney Clarke Photography!

“Barbara is the person you want to conduct your ceremony if you want something different, unique and fun. A straight talking woman with a great sense of humour who is very flexible whilst charging around Beacon Hill Park at dusk trying to find the right spot to hold the wedding. All this the night before. Highly recommend Barbara to anyone.” Thanks, Jim…:)

Laura and Hugh: Pure Boundless Joy

June 13, 2013 By Barbara

When Laura contacted me about 8 weeks before their wedding, she said that although she had been planning their wedding for almost a year, something felt missing. Everything else was done, but she didn’t feel like she was getting married. Her intended – Hugh – would support her, but his experience of ceremonies was more of the “rubber stamp” variety.

Our initial chat unearthed this: Hugh and Laura wanted their ceremony to reach out and gather everyone in its embrace. To share their love and joy with the people who mattered the most to them. To really feel like they were getting married. And of course…to enjoy it.

With all that in mind, we went to work. The couple put themselves into co-creating their ceremony with gusto. And it showed.

Pure boundless joy. These images perfectly capture the essence of the ceremony, the couple, and the people who love them.

“Laura, there wasn’t a pivotal moment that told you ‘this is the one‘. You just slowly realized that you were already committed.You had already assessed Hugh from your “must-have” boyfriend qualities list, and he’d scored 100%. But somehow, it was clear from the beginning that this was totally different from any other relationship you had ever had…Hugh had a big heart, full of love, and yours recognized it.”

Given that Laura is a massage therapist, it was only natural that guests all actually had “a hand” in getting her married to Hugh. (pic below)

Pure boundless joy.

“And one day, many many years from now, perhaps you’ll be back here at St. Ann’s Academy, sitting together right in this very spot, holding hands just like now, contented, calm and secure together.

And may younger couples look at you and think: “that’s who I want to be.”

Laura and Hugh, so happy you chose me. Honoured. Grateful. And still smiling when I recall this magical moment in time.

You can see more of Ryan Macdonald’s uber-amazing photos (including many wonderful shots of the happy couple) on her blog post.