Best friends come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they have big ears, whiskers. And a four-legged loss can be just as devastating as a two-legged companion.
Such was the case with Biff, a dog who was memorable in many ways. When he passed, after a long and colourful life, he was cremated. And kept. It was difficult to let go of him, partly because his owner didn’t know how. A spiritual person, she wanted some kind of memorial service for him, one that honoured him. When she discovered she could have exactly what she wanted, she was ready to scatter his ashes.
A few parts from the ceremony we created together:
Love of life. Love of every part of the day. The morning snuggle. Home-made food. Getting out in nature and thanking God for another day. Riding in the convertible in the summer. Burnt orange sunsets in the autumn. A good towel-off when it’s wet outside. Meeting and greeting new and old friends. The rustle of the cheese wrapper. Dessert after main course. A brush and massage before bed. And lots of hugs in between.
All simple things. But not in the least simple. I believe fully and sincerely that the best things in life aren’t things. They are people and moments. I include you in the “people” category because I know you were (and are) are a very old soul…one of the oldest wisest souls I have ever met. I thank God for matching us up, and giving me the chance to become a much better person. I will always be grateful for our time together.
And “Lessons Learned from Biff”:
- You’ve shown that the people we love don’t need fixing…they are just fine the way they are.
- And if someone tries to fix us, it’s ok to love them anyway. But if they push too hard in the areas that are the most critical, it’s o.k. to give them a little nip…just as long as you let them know that they are still loved.
- You’ve shown that what we do with those we love is not as important as the just being together.
- That when you welcome people well, they want to come over more often.
- And that when people don’t have to worry about being judged, they are safer and happier.
- That when we look back, the simple moments are the ones we treasure the most.
- You’ve demonstrated that real friends are always faithful and consistent; they love you the same way to your face and your back.
- That if you get bitten once, it shouldn’t dominate the rest of your life.
- And that pedigrees and job titles are just bits of paper people need to feel more important, but what they are inside is even more important.
- That mutts and unanticipated guests may add some unpredictability to life, and that’s a very good thing.
- And finally, that there is no greater gift than being genuinely appreciated by someone else.
When Paul passed, he was celebrated at a memorial service with speakers from one sliver of his life. In the neighbourhood, he was a totally different soul and part of the rich cultural tapestry…his brilliant smile lighting up his face as he drove by, never forgetting to wave. More than that, he had, over time, played a significant role in helping to move his neighbourhood forward (or perhaps back) into the vibrant community that disappeared with the rise of suburbia.
There HAD to be a way to remember Paul and the colour he brought to the neighbourhood in his lifetime.
And then, of course, shared stories over a meal. When we talked about what we will miss about Paul, a few people offered poignantly that they would most miss getting to know him better. More than one small sliver of his life.