As I write this, we are going through another exemplary year!  Remember, the only thing you actually need (other than someone to marry you) is someone to marry you…:) I’m guessing from the requests I am getting that there is going to be a shortage of officiants on prime Saturday afternoons, and especially if you are pulling something together on short notice. The purpose of this post is to help you find someone (beyond me..ha ha) to marry you.

This is NOT a recommended list….I’ve NEVER seen ANY of these folks in action!  But I do know that they can ALL legally marry you.

Door #1: Marriage Commissioners

I won’t go into a lot of detail about Marriage Commissioners, since most people are already familiar with them. In my 10+ years of leading weddings, I’ve found that they are either exactly what you want, or exactly what you don’t want.

Here’s the link on the government website.

Also, Vital Statistics posts recent updates about covid and marriage commissioners here.

 

Door #2: Wedding Officiants

When you think of ministers, you may think of the centuries old traditions of the Catholic, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish or other religions. But there are actually over 700 registered spiritual and religious groups certified to offer wedding ceremonies in the province of BC.  Some do community outreach through Lay Chaplains or Youth Pastors. Some are retired folks.  The range is wide, and each group runs on its own. So you can get a broad range of ceremonies.  Here are some of the ones that I come across in my travels.

Wedding Ceremony Companies

Most officiants are better at delivering ceremonies than marketing themselves…:) So a few businesses have jumped in to market wedding ceremonies.  These are the established ones
Young Hip and Married    from  Vancouver has officiants in Victoria (Chris-Ann Lake) and Nanaimo (Brian Pankratz.)
All Seasons from Ontario has officiants all over the Island. You can request a specific one.  I’ve found that Cecelia Penner is quite responsive.

You’ll work with the company, and can pick the officiant you want. Both will do a simple legal ceremony, and something a little more personalized.

There’s also Vancouver Officiant, who is pretty new, and similar to the above. They don’t list locations, but do say they have people on the Island.

The Unitarians

Inclusive and broad-minded, each congregation has 2 Lay Chaplains who offer ceremonial services. In Victoria, there are 2:  Saanich  and  James Bay.   Amanda Tarling is a Victoria Unitarian Lay Chaplain with her own website.  You can also find Unitarian Lay chaplains in Nanaimo and the Comox Valley.

Spiritual Communities

Within the Metaphysical community, you can check out Reverend Michael Ireland and Andria Winter in the south Island area.  And Adrienna Lankoff in Courtenay will only be around until early May.
And the Centre for Spiritual Living has Jill Brocklehurst in Campbell River.  Oops, not anymore…:(

You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire.

(which does not allow links to its site.)

Door #3: Celebrants

Celebrants are ordained officiants with a twist…specifically trained in the art of ceremony. If you want something different or really personal, you will be in good hands with a celebrant. If you are blending faiths or cultures, we can do it (we’re Metaphysical Ministers, which includes a broadly spiritual focus). If your family situation is….complicated….we can help smooth out the wrinkles.

Some of us come with extras i.e. our own PA system, a musical accompanist, pre-martial counselling, etc. as part of our service package. There are enough celebrants on the Island now that you can likely find someone who is a good fit for you.

On the south island:

Linda Nelson is popular with young couples.  Morgan Brooks for something a little more edgy.

If you have  more of a spiritual focus, check out Penny Allport.  If your spiritual focus moves more toward paganism, or animism, then check out Tracy  Stoessiger or Morgan Brooks 

Looking for someone on the South Coast who will do a hike and stand in the rain with you?  That would be
Tracy  Stoessiger or  Morgan Brooks 

If you want a marriage preparation package along with your ceremony, Sarah Nakatsuka  is a Victoria-based therapist/minister who provides that.

Tracy works weekends only and as of March 24 is fully booked until fall.

 

In the Oceanside area, Jane Good and Ceri Peacey are seasoned celebrants (with pretty wicked senses of humour).  James Latour has some of the coolest jackets you’ll ever see.

And in the Comox Valley, check out Jennifer Lee.

 

Although all Celebrants are LGBTQ friendly, you may prefer to work with  Morgan Brooks in Victoria (especially if you are non-traditional) .  Or James Latour in Nanaimo. (They do ceremonies for everyone, too..:)  And James travels up and down the east coast of the Island, too.

Looking for someone who travels to the West Coast (other than me?) That would be Jane Good,  Jennifer Lee.  Or Lianne Fitzpatrick, below. 

 

If you have chosen a popular date and are having trouble finding someone, perhaps check out these celebrants, who are either new in their practices or not as visible on social media:
South Island: Elaine Stuart. 
Cowichan Valley:  Wendy Wawrysh    Gail Peekeekoot
Central Island/Oceanside:  Shannon Rosnau,  Karen Arends   Cheryl Pedley
Central Island/West Coast: Lianne Fitzpatrick,  cell 250-203-1203, email: Fitz [at] Shaw.ca
Courtenay/Campbell River:   Katie Brennan   Colleen Kendall

You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire

(which does not allow links to its site.)

 

Door #4: Do it Yourself (sorta)

In some parts of the United States, you can get a friend or relative to marry you with a special one-day pass.  It doesn’t happen here in Canada.

But if you’ve booked everything other than the one thing you need to get married (hey it happens), and now you are stuck, consider this option.  Use one us legal folks to marry you ahead of time (when we are open), and then ask one of your people to deliver the ceremonial ceremony the day of.

Just a little heads-up that officiants have the chops to make it look easier than it is, the first ceremony you perform is utterly terrifying (so ask someone who is up to the challenge), and many of the ceremonies you can lift off the internet, frankly, are pretty beige…:) (which is perfectly ok if beige is your colour..:)

That said, I write ceremonies that can be delivered by someone with little/no experience and even let them shadow me at the legal ceremony before handing them my script. More on that here. I may be able to help you with that. Or ask your officiant of choice if s/he/they will do the same for you.

***

I hope you find your best fit!  And if you have any questions or feedback, just post below!

Best,

Barbara

 

I know, I’m not crazy about the term “mature” either. But the  alternatives on thesaurus.com aren’t much better: ripened, seasoned, prime time…:(  Egad.

Whatever the term, you’ve had enough time to get to know yourself well. And you know that this time, it’s more about sharing the love than it is about table centrepieces..:)

It’s more about how dang lucky you are to have found someone to walk with you through the rest of life.  Someone who loves you for you. Someone who accepts and supports you. Who is as grateful to have found you as you are.

Marrying this person is a complete honour, and this moment is one you want to experience fully. You want to be present, to show up 100% (or more). And you want to etch it in your memory, so you can close your eyes and savour it again.

 

And it’s also…just as pivotally… about bringing together the people you love the most and spreading the joy around…sharing the love…seeing them all connected together and realizing that they will be a community for a long time to come.

There may have been loss in your past, and there may still be some tender spots in your family. That’s ok…normal even…and we can treat those with care.

The joy of this whole process is that we’ll create together. And ripened people (egad) seem to enjoy co-creating stories, and rituals.  And ok, maybe the odd table centrepiece..:)  (I say that because the groom made a bunch of ropes for the ritual in the top pic, and I teased him about how much fun he was having.  I still wonder if he got a Pinterest board..:)

“Barbara is like all my favorite teachers, she asks the best questions to help us co-create a ceremony that had and still has great meaning to us. Even though we supplied the bulk of the content, Barbara put it all together in a holistic (whole-istic) way for our family and friends. Our guests were made to be part of a celebration. If you are willing to do the work to create a meaningful heart and soul moving event, then Barbara is the person for you. I’m sure she can also create an outstanding event for those that just want the nice words made for them, but I think it would be just a little bit sad to let such an important day be spoken from outside your circle of love. If you let Barbara teach you to speak from your heart and soul, the words of love you have for each other, then your love story will be the most honored guest at your celebration.”   Gail and Glenn

 

Unique, Meaningful and Full of Love…that is how we would describe our wonderful wedding ceremony on August 20, 2016.
Barbara is extremely gifted and created a ceremony that was perfect for us. Our wedding day was incredible and we heard time and again from our 50 guests that it was truly one of the most beautiful ceremonies they had every attended. We thought so too and are both incredibly happy Barbara was the one to marry us. Thank you Barbara from the bottom of our hearts for being a very important part of our wedding.    Doug and Donna xo

 

“One of our guests said this to us: “As soon as I saw the celebrant and heard her speak, I knew this wedding was going to be a classy event.”

Not only was our wedding classy, Barbara worked with us to establish what was important to us for the celebration of our marriage and translated that into a very personal and impressively original ceremony.

In her comments to our guests prior to the event, she set the tone perfectly; not just for our ceremony but for the rest of the evening’s celebrations as well. Because of her compelling presence, her amazing communication skills and her incredible story telling ability, Barbara created a wonderful sense of inclusion for all of our guests.

Barbara Densmore is extraordinary in every way. She made our wedding a phenomenal event.” N&H