Oh, so much is changing!  CoVid grew a garden of alternatives to the big traditional (either your dream or nightmare wedding). That, along with rising costs, is leading more couples to “step out of the box”. For a fascinating take on alternatives and figuring out your priorities, I highly recommend this local/recent video.

Now, let’s get you married….

Remember, the only thing you actually need (other than someone to marry you) is someone to marry you…:) The purpose of this post is to help you find someone (beyond me) to marry you.

This is NOT a recommended list….I’ve NEVER seen ANY of these folks in action!  But I do know how they are different from each other.  And that they can ALL legally marry you.

(And if you are an officiant and I have missed you, please get in touch and I will add you.)

And please remember, my comments are strictly my own opinion. Use the links to do your own research.

Door #1: Marriage Commissioners

I won’t go into a lot of detail about Marriage Commissioners, since most people are already familiar with them. In my 14+ years of leading weddings, I’ve found that they are either exactly what you want, or exactly what you don’t want.

Here’s the link on the government website.

 

Door #2: Wedding Officiants

When you think of ministers, you may think of the centuries old traditions of the Catholic, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish or other religions. But there are actually over 700 registered spiritual and religious groups certified to offer wedding ceremonies in the province of BC.  Some do community outreach through Lay Chaplains or Youth Pastors. Some are retired folks.  The range is wide, and each group runs on its own. So you can get a broad range of ceremonies.  Here are some of the ones that I come across in my travels.

Spiritual/Religious Groups

These folks do ceremonies as an outreach/community service of their ministry or as one of a variety of services. If your budget is limited, they can be an alternative to a Marriage Commissioner.

The Unitarians.  Well trained, inclusive and broad-minded, each congregation has 2 Lay Chaplains who offer ceremonial services. In Victoria, there are 2:  Saanich  and  James Bay.   Amanda Tarling is perhaps the most well-known Lay Chaplain…you can reach her directly here.

You can also find Unitarian Lay chaplains in Nanaimo and the Comox Valley.

World Tree Ministry provides handfastings and wedding ceremonies in the Oceanside area.

Within the Metaphysical community, are a myriad of  officiants who provide weddings as a menu item from a full range of services, and many don’t have websites. Here are the local ones who do:  Reverend Michael Ireland and Rev. Andria Winter in the South Island area.  In the Comox Valley, Rev. Sherry Ellis-Bell.  and Rev. Shelley J. Grant.  New in the Comox Valley is Rev. Thomas Trafford.

 

Wedding Ceremony Companies

Most officiants are better at delivering ceremonies than marketing themselves…:) So a few businesses have jumped in to market wedding ceremonies.

You can see on their websites, most offer both basic and personalized ceremonies.

All Seasons from Ontario has 7 officiants in Victoria. I’ve found that Cecelia Penner (Victoria/Sooke/Metchosin) is quite responsive and very popular. The most affordable option of the 3 companies listed.

Young Hip and Married    from  Vancouver has  2 officiants in Victoria, 1 in Duncan and 1 in Nanaimo.

Vancouver Officiant, has a handful of officiants in Victoria, and one in Tofino/Ucluelet, and 2 who cover the lower Gulf Islands.

 

Wedding Wire contains reviews for most Officiants and Celebrants.

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Door #3: Celebrants

Celebrants are ordained officiants with a twist…specifically trained in the art of ceremony. If you want something different or really personal, you will be in good hands with a celebrant. If you have a really good story that wants to be told, if you are blending faiths or cultures, we can do it (we’re Metaphysical Ministers, which includes a broadly spiritual focus). If your family situation is….complicated….we can help smooth out the wrinkles.

Some of us come with extras i.e. our own PA system, a musical accompanist as part of our service package.  Some of us offer the “personalized” type of ceremony mentioned above.  Others will create something completely unique and totally you.  Pricing here cuts a pretty wide swath, because of these things, and because we each market individually.  In many cases, you will get a higher level of service for the same or less as a wedding ceremony marketing company. Most of us provide a premium kind of experience that you can’t get elsewhere.

While the mantra “your ceremony your way” is part of the credo, it can really help to work with someone who shares your vibe.

On the south island:

Barbara Parker is a seasoned and gifted storyteller who recently moved from Alberta, so she may have open space.

Linda Nelson is popular with young couples. (link works)

Morgan Brooks  offbeat. edgy. pagan, animism, LGBTQ. nature hikes.

Penny Allport. A deeper, more spiritual, profound experience (link works)

Tracy  Stoessiger spiritual, paganism. animism. nature. hike in and stand in the rain.

Katie Brennan has just moved from the Comox valley to Saltspring Island and is serving the Cowichan Valley, Victoria, and Gulf Islands.

 

Central Island:

Jane Good  has a more fluid style…real and organic. Travels to the West Coast and as far south as Duncan. Also with accompanist.

Ceri Peacey has a pretty great sense of humour, works in the Oceanside area.

James Latour is a stylin’ guy with some of the coolest jackets you’ll ever see. Locals love him! Works up and down the east side of Vancouver Island, and over to Port Alberni.

And in the Comox Valley, Jennifer Lee is a lovely storyteller and calming presence.   Joanne Timms is new,

Deanna Belcarras just moved from New Brunswick so she will likely have openings.

And Linda McGaw just moved from Whistler, so will likely have openings as well.

If you’re looking for something outdoor, nature-based and real and aren’t into all the traditional wedding trappings, Rachel Cruse might be a great fit.  She travels the Island. August Saturdays are all booked, but other dates are available. Based out of the Cowichan Valley.

 

Looking for someone who travels to the West Coast? That would be Jane Good or Lianne Fitzpatrick, below. 

If you have chosen a popular date and are having trouble finding someone, perhaps check out these celebrants, who are either new in their practices or not as visible on social media/in search engines:
South Island: Elaine Stuart.  Shannon Linden.  Laura Clegg  is a former bride who is now on the celebrant path.  laura [at] lauraclegg.com or call 250 380 2098

Cowichan Valley:  Wendy Wawrysh    Gail Peekeekoot,  Cath Hamilton.  

Tina Schoen is fairly new and has a number of personalized packages on her website.

Central Island/Oceanside:  Shannon Rosnau,  Karen Arends,  Colleen Kendall.  and Cheryl Pedley does elopements.  New is Renate from Captivating Moments

Central Island/West Coast: Lianne Fitzpatrick,  cell 250-203-1203, email: Fitz [at] Shaw.ca  (no website yet)

Courtenay/Campbell River: Carol Elliot,  Lee Andra Jacobs cover the North Gulf Islands and from Nanaimo to Campbell River.  Joanne Timms is new, and doesn’t have a website yet.

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You’ll find reviews for many celebrants and officiants on Wedding Wire.

 

Door #4: Do it Yourself (sorta)

In some parts of the United States, you can get a friend or relative to marry you with a special one-day pass.  It doesn’t happen here in Canada.

But if you’ve booked everything other than the one thing you need to get married (hey it happens), and now you are stuck, consider this option.  Use one us legal folks to marry you ahead of time (when we are open), and then ask one of your people to deliver the ceremonial ceremony the day of.

Just a little heads-up that officiants have the chops to make it look easier than it is, the first ceremony you perform is utterly terrifying (so ask someone who is up to the challenge), and many of the ceremonies you can lift off the internet, frankly, are pretty beige…:) (which is perfectly ok if beige is your colour..:)

That said, I write ceremonies that can be delivered by someone with little/no experience and even let them shadow me at the legal ceremony before handing them my script. More on that here. I may be able to help you with that. Or ask your officiant of choice if s/he/they will do the same for you.

Feb 2024 note:  I’m hearing that many officiants and MC’s won’t co-perform on a Saturday, because they are already busy. (Home-made ceremonies tend to take a lot of extra time.)  And we must legally post the date we marry you on the legal paperwork, so just make sure you are ok with that.

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I hope you find your best fit!  And if you have any questions or feedback, just post below!

Best,

Barbara

When musicians Jenn and Paul met on Hornby Island 31 years ago, there was an immediate attraction and a lot of stray voltage…:)  What remained was a sense of “unfinished business” between them, and a sense of tentative inevitability that they would see each other again at some point.

A decade ago, they reconnected. And 5 years later, were married at St Andrews Cottages in Qualicum Beach.

“Our life is like an orchestra, and we are finding the beat”.

Since then, life has been full. Illness and misdiagnoses, the long road to recovery. All while running a business. Pivoting. Packing up and moving to the Island.

Suddenly, they were in a new place, an ideal life.

They talked about how to acknowledge this new start, this new place.  Decided they would love to go back to their wedding day and experience it again “without distractions and the whir of madness involved in weddings.” 

 

So we found a sunny day at the start of November and had an adventure.  “What should we wear?” they asked. “What you got married in. Plus sweaters and jackets!”

In the backyard of their new home, we revisited and updated their story (pets included). Then we packed up and took a wee (and very mindful) hike down to their original wedding spot, capturing what makes this new place part of an ideal life…past the pond with the ducks, sun filtering through the ferns, the echo of drumming woodpeckers.

 

At the bottom, past the loyalists intent on saving the last remaining building at St Andrews Cottages. Poignant timing for us.

 

Down to the beach.  Putting Hornby in their background (because it is…:) Appreciating what they love most about each other.

Hearing it again, from their original wedding. But updated for the time since.

We realized their original vows simply weren’t big enough, and so we updated them to fit. Took them over an oathing stone.

Beside us, a heron posed. A sea lion rolled.  Gulls circled.

An ideal life.

And like an orchestra, and they are finding the beat.

 

Every moment and step captured beautifully by the talented Chelsea Dawn Weddings. For more images (and probably more nicely done than mine, check our HER blog post.

We’re putting together some packages that will help you say “I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”  Check them out here.  (Link coming)