Many topics were covered at a symposium on dying last weekend at the Mountain View Cemetery, but the magnet for most attendees was home funerals.

We’re at the cusp of a resurgence in home death care. Home funerals are estimated to be, today, where home births were 30 years ago. It’s believed that the Baby Boomers will lead the trend toward dying at home in the future. In a Globe and Mail article, a reader quipped: “I have a feeling Boomers will reject the retirement home business as well. Place your bets accordingly.”

One might think the motivator to be financial (North American funeral costs are estimated to be double that of Europe and England), or the assume  adherents to be from the “green” movement, but that is rarely the case. The documentary film “A Family Undertaking” (shown at the event) contained a mix of families who offered their own beliefs:

• “no one can treat them as tenderly as someone who loved them”
• “a funeral home does not lend itself to intimacy”
• “natural vs. industrial approach”
• “everyone can take as long as they want to say goodbye”
• “there’s an amazing silence and beauty that begins to enter the room”
• “families walk through the doorway of fear”
• you can see eventually that the person you love is no longer there – it’s easier to let go”.

Some families choose to decorate hand-made caskets with messages and art. Others opt for handmade shrouds. When you are ready, the body can be buried, often in a natural setting (more on that in a future post) or transported to a crematorium.

Or can you?

The most natural way to die seems to be mired in red tape by the BC government, which has, apparently, the most regulations in the country.   Simple procedures like transporting bodies are not user-friendly. And while the USA has six groups that train midwives to guide families through the physical, emotional, and logistical process, in BC, death midwives are legally restricted from accepting fees for services. Licensed funeral directors, however, are allowed.

Perhaps that’s why the story feature in the Globe and Mail article was from safe and legal Washington state.

That’s not to say that it isn’t being done. One participant at the event brought laughter from the audience as s/he described a recent home funeral that included a final cruise around the beloved neighbourhood, casket in the back of a pick-up truck.

But don’t tell the government about that…:)

Happy New Year!  I’ve used this central post space to give you ideas of what a meaningful ceremony can be/do.   As 2010 begins, I’m knee deep in the midst of writing a number of ceremonies.

I’ll have more stories once the ceremonies are delivered.  In the meantime, I’d like to introduce you to some local folks who are at the leading edge of  observing  major life transitions.

Beginnings

This Saturday (Jan 23rd)  is the second “Indie I Do” event in Vancouver.  It’s a one-day showcase of services for people who are looking for original wedding ideas..the first one of its kind in Canada.

Catering to a diverse crowd, Indie I Do promises something for everyone – be it an off beat theme wedding, same sex do, or simply a traditional couple looking to add a touch of their own unique personalities into their event.

If you can’t make it to the event, don’t despair!  Links on the site lead to all  exhibitors.

Ends

You may have heard Paula Jardine, the Artist in Residence at Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery on CBC or seen some of her exceptional efforts so far.  Her newest project joins with Vancouver based artists Jan Wade and Nhan Nguyen.  Titled “Altered”, altar pieces and shrines created by the artists will be installed at the grunt gallery.  Corresponding video screenings at the Mountain View Cemetery’s new celebration hall on February 20 will explore cultural histories around Memorial and how we remember.  Info on both here.

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The resurgence of green burials started in the United Kingdom, which opened their first green cemetery in 1993.  Over 200 exist today.

My first initiation to green burial was in the HBO TV series “Six Feet Under”. (looks like the series starts over again on Jan 26).   Grave Matters (fascinating read, BTW) author Mark Harris says:

I’ve long believed that Ball’s fetching view of green burial, which aired on August 21, 2005, did more to sell the idea to the greater public than any newspaper story, newscast or magazine piece at the time.

At the very same time, the Green Burial Council (GBC) was launched – a group from outside the funeral industry formed to educate the public and the funeral industry about sustainable alternatives to traditional burial. It’s making great headway.

Canadian Outreach Director Don Morris has moved to Gibsons, BC and is now heading up GBC’s Canadian efforts.  I’ll keep you updated on his upcoming whereabouts.

Don recently hosted a talk by Stephen Jenkinson, Harvard educated theologian, leading Canadian palliative care educator, spiritual activist and author, featured in the awe-inspiring NFB film “Griefwalker.” Stephen will be offering a 6 day program at Hollyhock later this year:  Homecoming: A Master Class in Living and Dying.

Transitions

A powerful divorce ceremony delivered by my gifted colleague Michele Davidson was featured on CBC’s Tapestry this fall.  You can listen to the clip here. Forward until you get to the ¾ point of the podcast.

The future is here. It’s just not widely distributed yet.

~~ William Gibson (Vancouver Sci-Fi novelist)