Barbara Densmore - Contemporary Minister/Celebrant & Wedding Officiant

Meaningful.Memorable.Unstuffy.Truly You

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Memorials

Post image for Memorials

“I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear… that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived.” Rabbi Harold Kushner

Harvard educated theologian Stephen Jenkinson, a leading Canadian palliative care educator and author says in his film Griefwalker that for many people in their last stages of life, there is one fear greater than dying – that they will not be remembered.

Our highest honour as humans is to remember our dead. Once they are gone, the house is sold, the clothing is given away, the papers are signed, all that’s really left to us is their memory. It may be attached to a treasured possession, captured on film or in voice, or connected to something they created. But where their memory lives best is in us: in the story of their lives.

Standard practices often not enough

Everything. Everyone. Everywhere. Ends. From HBO’s “Six Feet Under”

Although we all know deep in our bones that our lives are finite, no one is ever really prepared for the death of a loved one. In the midst of pain, we step onto a conveyor belt of logistical details, often too distracted to be fully present to what is happening. We often defer to “what is normally done.” 

Traditional memorial services are often templates that offer the ‘right’, and ‘politically correct’ things, with the goal of expediting people through the process efficiently. But there’s no flow-chart when you lose a loved one. Every one of us is unique, and our journey of grief is also unique.

Pathways to healing

A good ceremony offers three pathways to healing.

  • It allows you to focus on your loved one, to offer gratitude and appreciation for their life. To acknowledge their impact to you, your world, and the bigger world.
  • It allows you to focus on your own grief, to help integrate that they are truly gone, to resolve unresolved issues, and to access the traditions, values, and beliefs that are most soul-soothing for you.
  • It helps people to support each other, mitigating feelings of loneliness and isolation. Our individual loads in life become lighter as we come together.

 

Capturing a unique life journey

We need to give voice to our sorrow and to remember well the person who has died. A good ceremony provides a genuine way to capture memories and to give voice to that sorrow.

I work with you to capture and celebrate the unique story of a life journey: who your loved one was, what mattered to them, and how they made a difference. We remember them. Their loves and their quirks. Their triumphs and their challenges. The legacy they have left for us. If you believe that spirit remains, to invite them to witness that legacy. We add rituals that help move them from who they were – a presence outside us – to who they will become – a presence inside us, in our memory, our hearts, and our bones.

There are many authentic paths to honouring a life.  Click on the link for more information.

Ash scatterings and memorial plantings.

Say good-bye actively.

Celebrations of life

Share the true essence of a loved one.

Predesigned memorials

Empowering and caring rituals for life endings.

Barbara Densmore, Celebrant & Officiant Reviews
 
WeddingWire Barbara Densmore, Wedding Celebrant & Officiant Reviews, Best Wedding Officiants in British Columbia - 2015 Couples' Choice Award Winner
 
Weddings, Wedding Venues Barbara Densmore, Professional Celebrant & Wedding Officiant, Best Wedding Officiants in British Columbia - 2014 Couples' Choice Award Winner
Weddings, Wedding Venues Barbara Densmore, Professional Celebrant & Wedding Officiant, Best Wedding Officiants in British Columbia - 2013 Bride's Choice Award Winner




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Testimonials

If you ask anyone that attended our wedding they would all agree that our ceremony was their favorite part! The process of writing our vows with her we will never forget. It made our ceremony one that people will not forget. It was 100% us, personal, humorous, and emotional with surprise twists that everyone loved.  
Isa and Neal, funky hippy wedding
“The words and the actions were all Mum. People commented over and over that this was the most meaningful Celebration of Life they had ever attended. And mum would have loved it…from the stories right through to the symbols, it was her to a T.”   Lauren and her family hosted their celebration of her mother’s life in a comfortable home setting.
MF's Celebration of Life
We didn’t know what we were looking for or exactly how we wanted our ceremony to be but we knew we wanted…a ceremony that resonated with us, was “us”. We wanted our ceremony to be the “heart” of our wedding, not something to just “get over with” as we have heard others say.  
Lisa and Eddie, and it was
Throughout the journey of co-creating, Barbara deeply listened, guided, and supported us to make meaningful creative choices that honoured ourselves, invited guests/witnesses, and our new home.  
J&J's House Blessing
“All 90 guests shed tears of laughter and joy, and walked away knowing and loving us as a couple that much more. We have been receiving nothing but extremely positive comments – stating it was the best wedding ceremony ever attended.”    
Jeff married Ashley in one of the most jubilant ceremonies ever, with a surprise blessing from their dog Lua
This was the kind of ceremony that Dad would have loved. He would have loved to be here. It was a perfect fit for him. Jan  
GS's Celebration of Life
Everyone was talking about it for the rest of the night — how different and heartfelt it was — even a few of the guys said it was, by far, the best wedding ceremony they’d ever been to… THE GUYS… I think that says it all. 🙂  
Wedding Photographer A
We are unique in our own way and nothing we do is cookie cutter. We are looking for an officiant who can do things a little differently. We pride ourselves on putting in the effort that others won’t.  
Shereen and Matt, high tech, high standards
People had great things to say about the ceremony – they loved that it was a reflection of us – so thank you so much for making that happen.  It filled us with joy.
Thank you again for helping make our day so incredibly memorable – words can’t express how blessed we felt on Sunday.
Jaylene & Greg's surprise wedding
We’re so grateful for the great job you did in pulling together our lives and making our ceremony so personal, so thoughtful, so us. The good feelings and emotions that blossomed that day continue to linger in our every day lives and you played a really important role in that, so thanks. You were great and able to go with the flow, which was so important to us.  
Jackie & Sylvie's 4 year old son helped to marry them

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