Often when couples with kids contact me, they have already decided how to include their kids in the ceremony, and it often sounds like “Johnny will be the ring bearer and Mary will be the flower girl.”
But even with a role in the wedding party, it’s easy for kids to feel outside of what’s happening…all the planning and activity. And if they are younger, to feel a little left out.
But the truth of the matter is that there are 2 unions happening here: their parents and their families, including them. Maybe even more.
Let’s just focus on the kids for now…confirming the new family and your commitment to them.
Your kids may want a more active role, helping me to marry you. It gives them a sense of purpose and belonging. At Marnie’s wedding, her daughters helped me create and deliver an enchanting ritual using champagne (their mother) and orange juice (their soon-to-be dad.) [“Rob is like orange juice because he likes to be squeezed, especially by mom.”]
Rob gifted them with these rings, and the promise that he would always be there for them.
Or there may be a family ritual you would like to do together. As new as the painting ritual here, or as familiar as the high 5’s above. Or a variation of the standard sand ceremony that fits who you are.
Perhaps you want to offer some vows to let them know that while there may be change in the future, some things will remain unchanged, including your love for them ( Sounds cheesy, but it’s true, isn’t it?)
We vow to hold you close to our hearts
To be there when you need us (not just for money)
to give you the understanding and space you need
to become the type of people you wish to be,
whether it be an engineer,
or a tattoo artist.
Because a great family wedding sets the tone for your future, and gives your kids both a message and a memory that they will never forget.
My fiancee and I decided very last minute to plan a wedding around a trip where all of our children would be present. With only 6 weeks to select a venue and plan a wedding ceremony for a couple that lived in different countries, we knew that we were going to need to someone with an extraordinary skill-set and talent.
In a very serendipitous way Barbara came into our life and from our first conversation with her (via Skype), it became quite clear that we had found the right person! It’s not easy to have a long distance relationship and planning a wedding from two different countries only compounds that fact. Barbara quickly jumped on board, always positive and always accentuating the positive, she embraced our need for guidance through the process of creating something magical. She succeeded on all counts. Thank you Barbara for helping to create a fairytale wedding for a fairytale romance. P&P
More sublime photos of C&J and the boys taken by Chelsea Dawn Photography. Middle shot of the family painting thanks to Tracey Christine Photography. The rings at M&R’s family wedding taken by Nancy at Joyful Images.