Although it’s not common knowledge, a wedding ceremony takes you on journey. As with any trip, first you depart, leaving your previous life behind. At the end you arrive, in this case at the beginning of married life. And in between is the phase…well…in between. You are neither here nor there, but preparing to cross the threshold from singlehood into coupledom. You might call it being “in transit.”
Rituals throughout a wedding ceremony serve to ensure that you are fully present…the intent is to engage your head, heart and hands all at the same time. They deepen the words that are said.
□ Some traditional rituals remain although we may have lost the symbolism i.e. the processional, the showering with flower petals, confetti or rice or birdseed (ouch).
□ Some are steeped in religious or ethnic tradition i.e. Jewish chuppahs, Chinese tea ceremonies.
□ Others have grown to befit today’s modern world i.e. lighting unity candles, blending sand etc.
If you come from a mix of backgrounds, or aren’t particularly religious, it may seem easier to just leave them out, as you can see in this sample script from the BC government website.
Rituals add richness, colour and texture to a ceremony. But what happens when the unity candle doesn’t ignite your heart, when traditional rituals don’t seem fitting? Well, there are a number of lesser known rituals that may resonate. What if none of them seem to fit? With some thought, they can be…excuse the pun, but read on…cooked up.
A smart and lively couple will be married later this year…non-religious, different backgrounds, current, and oodles of personality. As we worked through their shared passions, what came up for me was their love of cooking and eating. So I’ve just put the finishing touches on a food ritual designed specifically for them.
I started with cookbooks, of course, and my best resource was one written by an old friend, Sam Okamoto.
Food and love dance in metaphoric harmony. Both have a palette of flavours. And symbolic around food is the need, in a strong marriage, to feed and nurture self, the relationship and each other on a daily basis.
Into the ritual, I wove their personalities (similarities and differences) as well as their hopes for the future. A touch of approval from their guests.
Then I celebrated…how else…with something sweet. The cookies in the photo? Long gone now, straight to my hips..:)
